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The old you would never believe it.
1. Being naked in front of people.
This is especially true of moms who, after endless semi-clad appointments with their obstetrician and then giving birth, DGAF.
2. Drinking a lot of coffee.
Remember before kids when you said it kept you up at night? Bwahahahaha!
3. “Baby On Board!” signs.
You used to roll your eyes, but now you’re like, “I wonder if I should get one?”
4. The inside of your car being a mess.
Eh, whatever. It’s not like you’re chauffeuring the queen around.
6. Barney.
You pretty much love the purple doofus now that you know he can keep your kids preoccupied for an hour or more.
7. Your mom.
Her constant calls used to drive you nuts, but now when she calls you’re like, “Hi, Mom! The baby has diaper rash. What should I do? Also, when can you babysit?!”
8. Kids throwing tantrums in public.
These days you just feel sorry for the kid’s parent.
9. Waiting in line when you’re alone.
It’s like a mini-vacation before you have to go back home.
10. Kids at restaurants.
You’re not going to get mad at someone for bringing kids to a “family restaurant.”
11. Dirty diapers.
At this point you can change a diaper mid meal and then sit back down to eat without missing a beat.
12. Spit up, runny noses, and ear wax.
Basically all bodily fluids.
13. Looking like crap in public.
After being up with your kid all night, you’re suddenly fine with running to the store in sweatpants and a stinky T-shirt.
14. Photos of kids and babies on Facebook.
You now love seeing these, but are quickly running out of patience with the endless selfies your friends without kids post.
15. That one friend who is always totally out of the loop.
It used to annoy you that they never had any idea what was going on, but now you’re thankful there’s someone even more out of the loop than you.
16. Parties that start early.
Back in time for bedtime? Yes, please.
17. Not serving alcohol after the seventh inning.
Sorry, party peeps, but we’ve got kids to get home safely and don’t need thirty thousand drunk people swerving out of the parking lot with us.
18. Not watching something live on TV
Watching your shows after the kids have gone to sleep has become a way of life.
19. Your friends with kids who are always too busy to get together.
Instead of hating on them you’re now like, “I feel you, sister!”
20. Sharing your food.
You don’t mind when it means you get to take bites out of their mac and cheese.
21. Going to the bathroom in front of people.
At this point, it almost feels weird to go without a kid leaning against your knee.
21 Things That No Longer Bother You After Having Kids
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